Your children constantly lose everything, suffers from mood swings, does the most idiotic things, follows their friends, has no opinion, doesn’t know what he / she wants etc. As a parent you ask yourself if you have done something wrong in the upbringing or that his / her behavior belongs to being young.
It was the belief that a person’s brain is completely developed at the age of twelve / thirteen. However, it has now been illustrated that the brain is developed completely at the age of 24. It is in the front part (prefrontal cortex) where major changes are still taking place. In the prefrontal cortex, emotions are regulated, the ability to plan is developed and the ability to oversee the consequences of their actions is developed.
The brain has different stages of social development that contribute to maturity.
1. Impulsive stage: At this stage, impulsive behavior emerges and a child is dependent on and follows adults (parents, guardians, teachers, etc.). They expect others to meet their desires and needs. They think they know what is and is not allowed. This means that impulsive behavior is easy to correct. Limits must be set here.
2. Self-protective stage: At this stage they become self-reliant and their relationships are purely opportunistic. The dependent position from the stage before is exchanged for a self-protecting position. They try to stay in control of their impulses and emotions and deny hurt and anxious emotions. Friendships are based on advantage.
3. Conformist stage: At this stage adaptation, equality and social behavior are important. Here, the interests of others are also their own interests. They show socially desirable behavior in groups of friends and fear criticism and rejection.
4. Self-conscious stage: At this stage the emphasis is on individuality, personal relationships and tolerance. At this stage, they have more eye for their own feelings and wishes, even if they are not in accordance with what the group considers socially desirable. Individuality and sincerity are important here and they have the realization that this can lead to rejection by others.
People differ and therefore it is difficult to give age limits for each stage. However, it can be reported that usually between 0 and 9 years the children are in the impulsive stage. Between 10 and 13 years they are usually in the self-protective stage. Between 13 and 17 years they go from self-protecting to the Conformist stage. The age group 18 to 24 is usually in the self-conscious stage.
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